What do you want? You are reading this article for a reason. What are you looking for? Information? Entertainment? Tips? Self improvement? Beyond why you decided to surf over to Squintillions today, what do you REALLY want? Today’s article is about helping you figure out what you want out of life. I’ve shared my own wants as an example to stimulate your thought process.
If you have been following my blog, you may remember that I am a big fan of the book The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be written by Jack Canfield, with Janet Switzer. The article I wrote titled “Planning Your Life and Dreams: Top 10 Tips to Achieve Your Goals” highlighted my favorite ten principles from the book. If you missed it, check it out after you finish reading this one. Today, I am going to address Principle #3 from the book: Decide What You Want.
Deciding what you want refers to these three areas: what you want to do, what you want to be, and what you want to have. In the book, the authors discuss how your natural desires for what you want may have been diverted by other people as you grew up through people’s instructions or opinions. We begin to act in a way to please other people and to gain their approval as we reach maturity. In the process we end up numbing our own wants. This way of living can become a habit, until some of us no longer are clear on what we want and others live unhappy lives.
What Do You Want? … What Do You Want? …
The book advises two techniques to clarify what you truly want in life. One method is to find a trusted friend and have them continually ask you, “What do you want?” for a period of 10 to 15 minutes. For example:
- Friend: What do you want?
- You: A brand new Tesla.
- Friend: What do you want?
- You: To find a better job.
- Friend: What do you want?
- You: To exercise three times per week.
The goal is to keep moving through the process until you have exhausted the obvious answers and you have to really think about what you want. Consider recording your session so you can reflect back on your responses at a later time. Minimally, have your friend take notes.
The other technique works in a similar manner, basically you are asking yourself this same question. In response, you will create three lists of 30 items each covering things you want to do, things you want to have, and what you want to be before you die. That’s right, it’s time to write your “I want” bucket list. Get it out of your head and get it down on paper or typed into the electronic device of your preference. When you start the exercise you may find yourself listing material items. That’s okay. It is also totally fine for some of your responses to be abstract or even seemingly not achievable at the moment. You are allowed to brainstorm and give the answers that hold true to you. If 30 items per list doesn’t exhaust your idea output, feel free to write as many as necessary to cover all of your wants. Remember, these are your wants, not necessarily goals, so you don’t need to word them to be SMART goals (you can if you want). By listing these wants now, it may aid you in setting future goals. Time to get out of the dark and take this path to discover what you most want.
Note: I’ve completed this exercise myself and I’ve shared my personal lists below. I did slightly alter some of the wording and names for privacy reasons.
30 Things I Want to Do
- Play guitar every day and become a better guitar player
- Clear my email inbox of junk email and unsubscribe from companies I don’t want to keep getting email from
- Write a book
- Become financially independent in the next 8 years
- Spend more one-on-one time with my 13-year-old son
- Spend more one-on-one time with my 9-year-old son
- Have a weekly game night with my boys
- Schedule my time for the next day, on the previous night
- Travel more around southern California with the boys (maybe one weekend trip per month)
- Watch parenting conference videos I have previously purchased from Happily Family
- Expand my cooking repertoire — try to make something new once per week
- Have less clutter in the house, spend time tidying up clutter in the house every day for at least 15 minutes
- Get rid of more things in the house, especially clear out closets and garage cupboards — sell, donate, recycle, throw away
- Get back to exercising regularly
- Remember to floss every day
- Review what stocks, ETFs, mutual funds I want to keep, sell or buy
- Continue to educate myself on the stock market
- Read at least one investment/financial book per month
- Read at least one fiction book per month
- Travel to cities in other parts of the USA
- Help out with a local non-profit theatre group
- Help my 9-year-old with making more friends and understanding social situations
- Go out to see live music twice per month
- Begin meditating daily
- Learn how to better use WordPress
- Become better and faster at creating YouTube videos
- Develop a plan and method for keeping track of charitable contributions
- Teach what I know and pass on what I have learned
- Document life through photographs
- Make my voice heard, even when that feels uncomfortable, and work to make a positive difference in the world
30 Things I Want to Have
- My own house with lots of nice features and a decent kitchen
- Two million dollars spread across all of my accounts by 2025
- A higher quality electric guitar
- A celeste (celesta)
- A clutter-free living space (I might have a slight issue with clutter, ahem)
- Stress-free mornings that run smoothly and no one is running late
- Help taking care of my kids
- My 13-year-old to have the resources he needs to follow his dreams
- My 9-year-old to have the resources he needs to find his own success in life
- Multiple income streams that are not tied to a typical 9 to 5 job
- Rental properties with positive cash flow
- Two successful blogs with engaged followers, that also earn affiliate income
- A YouTube Channel with more than 10,000 subscribers
- A closet full of new clothes (donate the old ones)
- More friends who live locally who I can go/hang out with on short notice
- A mastermind group
- A supportive romantic relationship with someone who understands and accepts me
- A healthy body with no sore muscles (and for this hip injury to heal completely so I can run regularly again)
- The courage to interact with others when I am afraid to and the ability to let go of fear
- More patience and the ability to slow down and think before I speak
- The strength and perseverance to raise my sons in a healthy, happy, positive home
- A good night’s sleep almost every night and to have more energy and be less tired during the day
- The power to influence and teach people how to live better lives
- The strength and determination for regular self-reflection and improvement
- The opportunity to grow in a career and not to feel held back by my perceived weaknesses
- The ability to be open and vulnerable and not worry about it
- The ability to be my true self with no apologies
- The ability to follow what is in my heart and not do what I think I society wants me to do
- Recognition when I have done something worthwhile
- The ability to support all of my favorite causes financially
30 Things I Want to Be
- A really awesome mom! Supportive and understanding
- Someone people can count on
- A solid friend
- A regular volunteer
- A good guitar player
- A good piano player
- An activist — Someone who stands up for those less fortunate and fights for human rights
- A published author
- More well-read
- A multi-millionaire
- In love again, without doubts
- In excellent health
- A paid photographer
- A regular traveler
- A spreader of joy
- A giver to charity
- Always learning
- Involved in my community
- Someone who leads by example
- An optimist
- A teacher of ideas
- Confident in my choices
- Someone who takes action and gets things done
- Someone who takes care of the people around me
- Someone who overcomes difficulties and makes things better
- Loved by the people I love
- A hero
- Unafraid and courageous
- Efficient and concise
- A positive role model
One more way you can figure out what you want is to create an “I Want” document on your phone. Then you can record in the moment whenever you have an idea about what you want.
- Having a conversation with a friend and you are sparked by an idea that you would like to implement in your life? Add it to the list right away.
- Admiring a sporty car you walk past on the street? Note it in your list.
- Hear a great idea on a TV show or in a podcast? Don’t lose it to the moment, get it saved.
Remember to review your list(s) every few weeks to create a plan of action for any wants you would like to turn into more immediate goals. Word the goal so that it is specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely (it has a deadline). Develop steps you can take to reach your goal and celebrate as your want turns into a reality. Go back to any wants/goals you have attained that have end dates and mark them as achieved.
I’d love to read in the comments what you want to have, do, and be in your lifetime. The more you put your wishes out into the world, the more your brain will work to achieve them. Share your thoughts with others and make your wants known. Now, here’s your reward for getting to the end of the article!